Erotic Sandwich Photos Too Hot for University Internet To Handle

Bahn Mi

“Bahn Mi” from… somewhere on the internet…

As you all can tell, I have no problem throwing the word “porn” around. Porn, porn, porn. And then of course I break out in the the chorus for “The Internet is for Porn” from Avenue Q. The first time I did that I was in a philosophy of religion class and someone said that a metaphor for God could be the internet and one of my back row Honors buddies pointed out that 90% percent of the internet is used for porn. I wrote my class journal for that week on how we think of God in human terms and since the majority of humans have pornographic thoughts regularly it made sense that we would just ignore that when trying to make ourselves look like photocopies of God. And who knows… maybe God does think about porn. It wouldn’t be anything like ours, I’m sure, but still… worth a really awkward thought.

It’s in the 90’s today and that makes me sad. And I had to wake up super early to try once again to convince the DMV that I am in fact a state resident who should be allowed to get an ID card. I had so carefully gotten together all my documentation together to go in and get it earlier this week and they let me do everything but get the card itself until I bring in another proof of residency. I got a sunburn standing outside the MVA at 8am only to be told that the additional documents I had brought in didn’t count but that I was allowed to print off other bank/credit card statements and use those. So I’m going to try and go back later today and have told my boss that afterwards I will be working from home because its just too much hassle to go back and forth and back and forth and really I’ll I’m doing today is reading this book for next year and coming up with questions all them new students will have to suffer through. It’s a good book and I find it fascinating but I already know that the new crop of freshies are most likely to complain at me about how it’s more than 160 characters (or however long messages are these days).

But since I was up so early and now have like the biggest pile of dead trees with all possible bank/card statements the MVA might accept from me all printed out I’m hungry. And I know I still have Bahn Mi materials in the fridge. I was going to share a lovely post once about about the wonders of bahn mi and how you should be eating them but then I can across a serious problem… The university’s firewall…

I swear this thing block anything and everything of any remote possible interest to the majority of humanity. The word “wine” shows up on a page? BLOCKED! Any reference to sexual relations of any kind? BLOCKED (Yep, even some news articles)! Bahn mi…. BLOCKED for Mature/Adult Themes of a Sexual Nature.

It makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time.

So there it is folks, somewhere in the post attached to the photo above is something so horrifyingly sexy that I can’t even open it on campus. It looks rally delicious… MUST BE A SIN!

Oh and look! A little bird has landed outside my office window and is trying to make friends with my Batman and Catwoman Lego figures… Since the internet seems to be off-limits I guess I’ll go play with Legos now.

Breaking Down and Grilling

Caprese Burgers

“Caprese Burgers” from Food & Wine

I know I’ve been on a really good vegetarian roll for a while but then I saw this and then I just broke down… Sometimes I really just crave a real burger. And this one has done it for me. I’m not craving it right now but knowing of the existence of such a thing and thoroughly undone me. I have never made my own burgers but I do know how it is done. There is nothing standing in my way from this awesomeness! Well perhaps still being rather unwell might but I will be better soon (I have determined!) and then I shall grill… Grill, baby! Grill!

Enjoy the lovely weather these days, Foodie Nation, for they will not last long and then will settle in the great DC heat full of muggy grossness that makes you want to sit in an ice bath and end it all.

Cold Comfort

The weather in the DC area is starting to get warmer and the humidity is starting to build up and I’ve been reminding myself that I really need to make a decision on that ice cream machine before it’s NEXT summer and I still haven’t done anything about it.  We’re not too far from it actually being a full year since I first considered getting the device and kept procrastinating until… well I think it’s evident what happened. I don’t have one.

But here are a couple alternative options that would not only allow me to NOT break my spending fast for the month of April but would allow me to take some of the hot drinks I was getting used to over the cooler months and bring them into summer with me:

Irish Coffee Pops

“Irish Coffee Pops” from Souvlaki For The Soul

Hot Cocoa Popsicles

“Hot Cocoa Popsicles” from Pastry Affair

And this is what popsicles looked like when I was a kid living overseas. My Apo used to make avocado ones for me with palm sugar. Mmmmm!

Avocado Ice Pops

“Avocado Ice Pops” from Cooking tackle

All these and more can be found and followed on the “Freeze It!” Pinterest board.