Hey. Nice Tots.

Tater Tots, Bullitt in San Francisco

Tater Tots, Bullitt in San Francisco

I don’t post a lot of less that gastroporn perfect photos because there is rarely a reason to. But when I saw “The Country’s Top Tater Tots Slideshow” from The Daily Meal there was really nothing that could stop me from trying and seeing whether or not it was even remotely appealing to my Foodie Nation (That’s you, Reader!)

I do have a fancy camera, I just really hate carrying it around and I also really hate those people at the table Instgramming their food. You’d think I’d be the exact opposite about stuff like that but I’m intolerably picky about food photos. Even the one for this post was carefully selected because it had one of the better compositions in the bunch. The idea of guacamole on tater tots is cool but not quite gastrogasmic, in my opinion. But it was the best picture of tater tots. Now, occasionally, I will post a photo from my phone on Facebook if it’s absolutely necessary. Example: Hotel Chocolat tasting room and a grilled cheese food court place in Boston. These are things the world just NEEDS to know about. An awkwardly lit plate of sushi that came out looking like it was crawling with diseases in a dump? Not going on Facebook.  I’m all for attempting to achieve the perfect Platonic form of food and if it tastes amazing or looks fantastic on the plate but ends up looking like someone took a dump in the photo? That’s just gross. Please don’t do it. And, if you do, don’t expect any praises from me. Because it may taste out of this world but if it looks like space junk’s junk on a plate… I think you get the point.

And back to tater tots and how much I am absolutely in love with them.

I have yet to meet anyone that doesn’t like tater tots. I’ve met people who haven’t had tater tots and they are very sad people. I usually cheer them up buy making them tater tots. Yes, they are not healthy as a food choice and I fully recognize this. A lot of people think that I actually eat like I blog. That would be ridiculous and if I did I would weight about a million pounds right now and have a lot more serious back problems. In fact, I’ve been losing weight since I started food blogging. Who needs breakfast (which I totally just forgot to even think about this morning before leaving the house) when they can WRITE about breakfast? Well that’s a rather dumb example but I’m less hungry looking at these tater tots than I was making excel spreadsheets of all the students I’m ready to give a good kick in the pants for not passing any of their classes and STILL trying to register for next school year. There is so much money being wasted I wish I could dip myself in honey and just stand outside naked and hope it would stick to me so I could quit this job and go live in the country with a couple chickens and a goat. But then my money would be sticky and I don’t like that so I’ll keep my clothes on for the time being.

Oh yeah! This post is about tater tots.

Best tater tots I’ve had in my area? There are two locations. One is actually the university’s cafeteria.  I’ve griped about their food in the past but their breakfasts are great and eating them every day DID make me gain a ton of weight back when I used to eat them more regularly. For $5 my Kenyan sister and I who worked together as tutors would get a nice waffle, an omelette  and a massive pile of tater tots and share it in the office while starting our day off right with an episode of The Big Bang Theory. I don’t know how they managed to get those tots so crispy but I have a feeling it wasn’t in the oven.

With that same “sister” I discovered that, awkwardly enough, Hooters had good tater tots. Every time I tell someone this they get all bent out of shape that I was at a Hooters. And yes, I try not to write “Hooters has great tots” too often because I’m clumsy enough that I know I’m going to mistype it one of these days. But seriously, they do. Go try for yourself and then try telling me that place hasn’t got fantastic tots.

And check out the other photos of tater tots across the country. Hooters is not included but The Aviary is and I hope to someday be able to afford that excursion and I know what I’m hoping they’ll still have for me to try when I go.

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